how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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women's rights

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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25

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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