How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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myspace

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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*prepares this to get negged*

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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The WNBA

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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