what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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