Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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the

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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4

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Gianni

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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knock knock

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops