what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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