Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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hey

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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