How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

Penis penis poop butt

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

Weiner

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

knock knock who's there police

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

hey

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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