what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

My phone rang. So I answered it.

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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