Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A child with cancer grows up.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops