What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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obama's promises

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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