what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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where are you?

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops