What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops