What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

The game!

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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