A horse cantered into a bar.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Get in the Batmobile.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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