You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock Whoes there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you are my friend like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +30

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops