Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

AVB

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I'm banging your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Cows go moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What does A duck smoke? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a black man hails a taxi...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops