why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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matt shut up

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Mitch

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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