Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +160

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

thumb_up thumb_down

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops