What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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