- Anti Joke

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

A Frenchman stays and fights

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.