what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Womens rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops