A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Girls

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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