What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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I'm a like whore

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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