After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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Penisland

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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alert('hiiii');

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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this is gay

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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W.N.B.A.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops