Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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