what did one tree say to the other? move over

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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