Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Weiner

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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The cow went moo

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Republicans

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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I like pom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops