two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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God is real

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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