a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Justin Beiber

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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How old are you? 20

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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