Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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1+1 =? Too

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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