Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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want a balloon? yeah

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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Watch your lips.

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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