Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

women playing football?

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

Hashtag

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

What is funnier then 25 9/11

Stephen Walking.

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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