So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=341666429240797&set=a.102107073196735.4429.102099916530784&type=1&theater

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops