Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

Q

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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