What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

mc hammers income.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +13

JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops