You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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Doorbell salesman.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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bob saget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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