It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

thumb_up thumb_down

A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Scientology.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops