Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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hit the thumbs down button

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops