What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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