A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Watch your lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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