Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Weiner

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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