So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

Hi

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

Oh, I must be hearing things.

Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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