- Anti Joke

Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

anti jokes

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

If you are my friend like it!

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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