Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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Hi.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Spinabifita

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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