I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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You smell like shit

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops