When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops