what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops