this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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FAP

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Alex Eggbert

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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