What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

yo momma so fat that she's fat

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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