How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops