Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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