How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

who smells? •Liam

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

Hi.

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Win and Beau have no friends

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...