A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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I'm banging your sister.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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The WNBA

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Derpy Hooves is retarded.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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