An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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DOWN

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops