if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

A walrus walks into a bar

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

Women's rights...

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

Hashtag

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

1+1 =? Too

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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